Baby Boomer Mixed Drinks

I was in sunny Florida last week visiting a dear friend who told me about the vision she and her sister have for their retirement. It involves living in opposite sides of a duplex with doors that  open to a shared bar and dining room, so they can entertain in style.

Back in my twenties I had a vision of owning a cat farm in California's picturesque Capay Valley. My farm would feature a barn with long walls of windows and perched-sized sills for lounging, built over a stream for fresh running drinking water, with cat toys dangling from the ceiling. Along with the feline paradise, I was going to run a quesadilla restaurant, where you could order pretty much anything between two tortillas: peanut butter and jelly, ham and cheese, tuna and mayo...

I never seriously pursued my ideas, but thinking about them in my young adulthood when the future seemed uncertain made me happy. I could picture the barn and the dozens of contented cats; I imagined my tiny restaurant and customers enjoying my quesadillas. A mind's-eye paradise. 

I don't know if my dear friend and her sister will find themselves side-by-side sipping cocktails in a dozen years, but it's fun to imagine it so. And imagining it so, my own ideas took flight: what will  we tail-end Baby Boomers be drinking when we turn 70? Could we combine our desire for adult beverages with  our remedies for aging and illness? 

And so my list of baby boomer cocktails was born. I imagine most of these drinks will taste terrible; but they're good for a laugh, and we know what they say about laughter and medicine...

Cheers (and let me know if you're brave enough to try any of my concoctions)!
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TROUBLED TAVERN BABY BOOMER MIXED DRINKS

•Goodness Grapecious: red wine & liquid resveratrol
 
•The Creaky Mule: vodka, ginger-ale & lemon-lime liquid glucosamine
 
•Getting Jiggy: gin & liquid glucosamine, any flavor
 
•The Bonesaver: Bourbon & liquid calcium
 
•The Aging Russian: Kahlua & Ensure
 
•Go Irish: Bailey’s Irish Cream & Milk of Magnesia
 
•Think Pink: Campari & Pepto Bismol
 
•Loose Goose: Gray Goose vodka & Orange flavored liquid fiber
 
•Russian Blockade: Vodka, Kahlua & Immodium
 
•Cosmopolitan Curmudgeon: Vodka, triple sec & cranberry Joint Juice
 
•Hot Snotty Toddy: rum, honey & lemon-lime Theraflu
 
•Hot Ailing Wassail: apple cider, brandy & cherry cough syrup
 
•New Year’s Knock out: Champagne & Alka Seltzer